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        <p><em>经过激烈思想斗争，最终还是决定放弃出国。</em><br><a id="more"></a></p>
<p>GPA3.5，9/92排名，弱科研无实习竞赛论文的条件实在是一抓一大把，想实现高层次出国是不可能的。况且在没有明确留学目标和强烈“美国梦”的前提下，没有必要再给家里增加负担，若是留学，便没有退路。</p>
<p>最近系里想出国的很多，以致气氛轻佻，人心浮躁，颇有小城市的摩登的意境。决定考研的也只在上课默默地翻着英语单词，然后看手机去了。可能这就是环境的差异，大多数人都是随波逐流的，很少有人知道自己想要什么。这时就很佩服江苏的Sun, Sun曾与我同专业，数学突出，执行力过人。准备复旦笔试时候翘课熬夜刷题决绝执行，无奈面试缘分不够，之后和我一样转了专业，近来听说准备去交大夏令营了，想必结果不会差。</p>
<p>就像跑步，如果前面人的速度让你感到不适而你只是跟着，不知不觉你已经离原来的速度越来越远了。而我又是极易受环境影响，极易摇摆的人，对自己的定位更加模糊，容易迷失在这出国的浪潮里。现在的心态大概就是由实力不足引起的心虚。因而还是需要一段cache来重新实现速度的匹配。</p>
<p>放弃出国以后，心就安分许多。<strong>From now on, feet on the ground.</strong></p>
<p>好像快要实习笔试了，看看自己离目标还有多远吧。</p>

      
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